Struggling

Verse 1

Age 13, first seed dropped HD screen, It was more like video cassette
Satan had a plan for me, trap was set
At that age I couldn’t reject, hormones wild thinking nothing but sex
And as I reflect, the thoughts of this day I truly regret
My folks stepped out, I snuck into their bedroom
Just curious looking through their bedroom
I stumble on this door, below the television
Open up, and all I see is black tapes
Thinking what’s next as I make my decision
I choose the wrong fate, picked up a black tape
Then I put it in, in the VCR
Then my whole life changed, from what I saw

Chorus(Sean C. Johnson)

I’m falling, my flesh won’t quit calling
Man it’s so appalling, hard to admit
I’m Struggling
And laying it down, and I need you right now
Please help me Lord, I’m Struggling,
Struggling

Verse 2

Tape on play anxious anticipation, little I know addiction is what I’m facing
As the scene starts looks like a soap opera
Try to pull it out, then my eyes get caught on a
Young lady took her shirt off and pants too
Within a second I was looking at her straight nude
Then in came this dude and what happened next
Was the first time I visually seen sex
That was a birth of an appetite
Even then I knew premarried wasn’t right
So I kept coming back indulging
Pretty soon my whole life’s engulfed in
Improper and illicit images
Adolescent mind left me defenseless
Tried to stop plenty times from conviction
15 years birthed my addiction

Chorus(Sean C. Johnson)

I’m falling, my flesh won’t quit calling
Man it’s so appalling, hard to admit
I’m Struggling
And laying it down, and I need you right now
Please help me Lord, I’m Struggling,
Struggling


Verse 3

Grown man now, don’t tell, keep quiet
At this age when you deal with this you keep silent
At least that’s what I thought, and that’s what I did
When I messed up, I prayed that God forgive
And He did that, but I still went back
Kind of like a fiend does when he needs crack
Just one hit and I swear I’m done
But inside I really hate what I become
I let my wife know that inside I’m dying out
Lord I’m preaching but inside I’m crying out
So I start praying and began to fast
Doing everything I can just to make it pass
Slim the cable down, cut the premiums
Restrict the internet sites to a mininum
I let go, I don’t want this to define me
Christ delivered me, past behind me

Chorus(Sean C. Johnson)

I’m falling, my flesh won’t quit calling
Man it’s so appalling, hard to admit
I’m Struggling
And laying it down, and I need you right now
Please help me Lord, I’m Struggling,
Struggling